Look at My Life

How long have I got in the hot light 'til the shine rusts?
I've been thinkin' through the hard stuff
Over light drugs like every night
No, you don't need to come over
'Cause I'd crowd please, and I'm tired
Slowly morphed into a poser
Barely know her anymore
Do I look high-functionin' or is my façade crumblin'?
Oh God, don't actually answer me, Caroline
But, oh well, look at my life
Bet you can't tell, but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night
Bawlin' my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right
I just got to the party with the big shots and the Barbies
Empty talk and talk and talk until my ears bleed
He's holdin' a pill, he thinks that I should take one
But I'll raise him to the whole bunch
I'm kidding, God, he thinks I'm stupid
What a gut punch, but then we go
Downtown, there's no medicine, I'd spit out if it promises
Slowin' down voices, don't want to hear a sound
But, oh well, look at my life
Bet you can't tell, but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night
Bawlin' my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized
Got what I, what I
Maybe if I smile enough, I'll get away with givin' up
I'll move across the country just to judge myself
Like, just as much as I do when I'm sittin' here
I miss my friends, I disappeared and haven't seen 'em in a year
Oh God, what am I doin' here?
But, oh well, look at my life (look at my life)
Bet you can't tell, but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night (every night, I)
Bawlin' my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine (fine)
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized (actualized)
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right (right)
Ooh-ooh-ooh (right)
I got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right (right)
Ooh-ooh-ooh (right)
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right