Aimai

Even if my mouth were to tear apart, there are things I can't say
I want to confess everything to you, and I'm fed up with myself for feeling that way
I don't want to change
I don't mind being a coward
Layering lies, my skin has grown thick
Is this an initial setting, a defect, or should it be called a change?
I sometimes think about diving into your chest
It's not that I want to hear your heartbeat
It's not that I want warmth
I've realized I want to peek into the depths of your heart

You color my monochrome, sufficient everyday
It's beautiful but frightening
I can't say what it is

What should I do, what should I do, what should I do
What should I have done
Even if I tap the program of emotions
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, but it's you
"I reached out"
I became distant, became distant, became distant
It's a complete misunderstanding
If I could gouge it out, it would be easier
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done
I hate it because of this
I don't need anything

Determining what to hold and what to discard
Should be part of an easily patterned process
Let's weigh it on the scale
Just being heavy was meaningless
I chose based on the mass of my "feelings" towards it

You embrace the lead-colored memories, wherever you go
I was chasing what you were thinking
So I could say "Let's go home"

What should I do, what should I do, what should I do
What should I have done
I don't know your raison d'être or how to save you
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, but "I took your hand"
So you wouldn't sink

It's probably my imagination, but my heart leaped
I won't let my guard down
I'm empty
So empty that I forget even the nights when my knees get wet
That's how it should have been, right?

What should I do, what should I do, what should I do
What should I have done

What should I do, what should I do, what should I do
What should I have done
Even if I tap the program of emotions
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, but it's you
"I reeled you in"
I was the one who distanced myself
I blamed everything on you
So I wouldn't dream ever again
I really understood
I understood and covered it with ambiguity
Because I can't afford to lose you, ah

Kuchi ga saketemo ienai koto datte arai zarai kimi ni wa
Hanashite shimaitakunaru sonna jibun ni unzari surun da
Kawaritai nante omowanai
Okubyōmono demo kamawanai
Mata uso wo kasane kawa ga buatsuku natte ita
Kore wa shoki settei ka kekkan ka arui wa henka to mo yobubeki na no ka?
Kimi no mune no naka e tobikometa nara to omottari surun da
Kodō ga kikitai wake ja nai
Nukumori ga hoshii wake demo nai
Sono kokoro no oku wo nozoite mitai to kizuita

Monokurōmu de jūbun na nichijō wo kimi wa irodokete yukunda
Sore wa kirei de dakedo kowakatta
Nani ga to wa ienai kedo

Dōsureba dōsureba dōsureba
Dōsureba yokattan da
Kanjō no puroguramu wo tataitemo
Wakannai ya wakannai ya wakannai ya
Wakannai kedo kimi nan da
"Te wo nobashita"
Tōnoita tōnoita tōnoita
Kanchigai mo ii toko da
Kurinuite shimaeta nara raku na no ni
Mō ii ya mō ii ya mō ii ya
Konnan dakara iya nan da
Nanni mo iranai kara

Nani wo motsu beki de nani wo suteru beki ka wo mikiwameru koto wa
Itomo tayasuku patān-ka sareta purosesu no ichibu no hazu da
Tenbin ni kakete mirunda
Omoi dake ja iminakatta
Soko ni taisuru "omoi" no shitsuryō de eranda

Namari iro ni somerareta kioku wo kimi wa kakae doko made demo
Nani wo omotta no ka oikakete itanda
"Kaerou" to ieru yō ni

Dōsureba dōsureba dōsureba
Dōsureba yokattan da
Rēzondētoru mo kimi no sukui kata mo
Wakannai ya wakannai ya wakannai ya
Wakannai kedo "te wo totta"
Kimi ga shizumanai yō ni

Ki no sei darou kedo shinzō ga haneta
Yudan wa shinai yo
Watashi wa karappo
Hiza wo nurasu yō na yoru mo wasureru hodo karappo nan da
Sore de yokatta hazu desho?

Dōsureba dōsureba dōsureba
Dōsureba yokattan da

Dōsureba dōsureba dōsureba
Dōsureba yokattan da
Kanjō no puroguramu wo tataitemo
Wakannai ya wakannai ya wakannai ya
Wakannai kedo kimi nan da
"Teguri yoseta"
Tōzakete shimatta no wa watashi datta
Zenbu kimi no sei ni shita
Konrinzai yumemi nakute mo ii yō ni
Hontō wa wakatteita
Wakatteite aimai to futa shitan da
Kimi wo ushinau senai kara aa