Never Getting Laid

We were so happy, why not mix it up?
I'm so at peace, yeah, I can't drink enough
No way to know just who you're thinkin' of
I just wish you didn't have a mind (ah)

That could flip like a switch
That could wander and drift
To a neighboring -
When just the other night, you said you need me, what gives?
How did it come to this?
Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I'm not angry
Love you just the same
I just hope you get agoraphobia some day
And all your days are sunny
From your windowpane
Wish you a lifetime full of happiness
And a forever of never getting laid

I think this schedule could be very nice (very nice)
Call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite, watch the fight
Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? (Am I right?)
And you've got a right hand anyway (and only yesterday)

Was when we called it quits (called it quits)
I was so confident (confident)
'Til the thought of it hit
That any given night, you could be using your lips
On a girl with big -
Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I'm not angry
Love you just the same
I just hope you get agoraphobia some day
And all your days are sunny from your windowpane (sunny from your windowpane)
I wish you a lifetime full of happiness
And a forever of never getting laid (forever, mm-mm)
A forever of never getting laid (laid, mm)

At the end of the rainbow
I hope you find
A good whole lot of nothing
'Cause you're still inside
And abstinence is just a state of mind