Looking Up

I said goodbye at fifteen and I didn't know it meant
I'd be crying in my twenties still not knowing where you went
How long is forever? 'Cause it's getting kinda old
The way I'm getting older and the way I know you won't
I'm talking to the ceiling hoping that it's loud enough
There better be a heaven 'cause I keep on lookin' up
I keep on lookin' up, I keep on lookin' up
I see you all the time, but it's only in my head
I pick at the scars 'cause I'm scared that I'll forget
I laugh at stupid memories and I cry out of the blue
I'm holding onto grief 'cause it feels like holding you
I'm talking to the ceiling hoping that it's loud enough
There better be a heaven 'cause I keep on lookin' up
I keep on lookin' up, I keep on lookin' up
I keep on lookin' up, I keep on lookin' up
It's bad enough I'll never know if these are wasted words
The thought that you're not out there somewhere only makes it worse
If you can see me, you can find me, I'm still where I always was
There better be a heaven 'cause I keep on lookin' up